


Can't Sleep

by salty_star



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Found Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, how on earth do i tag, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:34:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29116092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/salty_star/pseuds/salty_star
Summary: Reggie sat down on the pullout as quietly as he could. “Well, whatever it is, it seems to be really bothering you. Maybe it’ll help to get it out.”Luke scoffed, “Oh, look who’s talking.”“Luke.”“Alex please, I- I don’t even know where to start.”“...We have time,” Julie’s voice broke in as she made her way to the couch, leaving space for Luke.He sighed and dug his hands into his pockets. It took a moment before he went against the urge to poof out of the studio and threw himself on the pullout.---Luke can't sleep and he talks to his friends about it.
Relationships: Alex Mercer & Julie Molina & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters, Reference to Alex Mercer/Willie, Small reference to Julie Molina/Luke Patterson
Comments: 8
Kudos: 94





	Can't Sleep

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there and thanks for reading!  
> Sorry if the pacing seems off or if it doesn't flow together at certain points, I don't write too often but hopefully I'll get better!
> 
> TW: anxiety attack

Ghosts don't need sleep; that was one of the "silver-linings" that the boys found out when they died. Upon this realization, they decided to walk the streets and check out clubs of the new world they woke up in, finding that everything they once knew changed. Sure, okay, maybe the buildings generally stayed the same, and the awful smell of the alleyways was still there, but that was about it. Everything else seemed different; the way people dressed, the music, thousands of brightly lit screens everywhere- how many things did they miss? 

Alex for one didn't take this so well. It was cool to see how everything for the most part advanced and how many things were added, but it was scarier to see how many things were gone. They missed _twenty-five years._ Twenty-five years! And on top of that, they didn't even get to experience these changes for themselves, they just woke up from _death_ one day and- _bam! '_ Say goodbye to the world you knew.'

And if Reggie was honest, he was on the same page as Alex, but that feeling didn’t last very long for him. Yeah, so they woke up in the future, which did freak him out in the beginning...but the future is awesome! Those brightly lit screens can do anything you want, there’s so much more music to listen to now, _and_ they have more Star Wars Movies? Everything is so cool!

This is what Luke thought when he poofed him and his friends to the Orpheum. Why not check out what this new world has to offer? Of course, it was a bummer (understatement of the year) that they died but, you have to make the most of what you have. And what they had at that moment was a girl named Julie, weird teleportation abilities, the fact that they didn’t need to sleep, and each other.

So that’s what they did for a while; during the night the three of them would walk the neighborhood streets, doing silly things together or until one of them got overwhelmed thinking about what they left behind. Sometimes it was Alex whose heart would sink and suggest that they head back to the studio, but Reggie also had his moments where he would just stop walking when a thought about his family popped in his head. Luke on the other hand...kept those types of feelings to himself.

Yeah, he’s been thinking about his parents and especially his mom the second he heard the words “twenty-five years” come from Julie’s mouth, but what good would his worrying do? They’re dead...-they’re dead ~~because of him~~ and there’s nothing that he could do about it now. The only thing he could do now was just watch his parents mourn over their dead son because the dead son made a mistake twenty-five years ago that he couldn’t take back.

Anyways, he meant what he said on the beach; the three of them are the only family they’re ever going to need. Through every bad thing that happened to them, they always had each other, and that wasn’t going to change. Luke didn't care if the world was ending or if he was at his dying breath ~~haha~~ , he would always be there to protect his family, ~~which he has failed two times now~~ ~~,~~ which now included Julie, ~~well maybe Julie is something different to him, but he doesn't know where to start with that.~~ They don't need to be the ones worrying about him.

Then Caleb put his stupid stamp on them which worried everyone involved. Alex was constantly concerned that something would happen to Willie and vice versa, Reggie didn't want to lose the three of them and had become somewhat close with the rest of the Molina family, and Julie...was going to lose everything again. Julie is a strong person. No one doubts that. But it still doesn’t change the fact losing three friends that she had become kind of close with would _hurt_ , especially after losing her mom a year prior. Everyone Luke cared about was put in harm's way...all because he wanted to get back at Trevor. 

But then Julie hugged them, and everything was okay again? They were glowing, the stamps were gone, and they could touch each other now. What did this mean? Well, yeah, it meant that the band was back, but apparently, it also meant that the boys were now "somewhat real". They still were ghosts, but they had more abilities now which all of them were still trying to figure out. But with them now being ”leveled-up” (Reggie’s words), it meant that they used more energy from their bodies, meaning they have to sleep. 

And the boys had no problem with that. It was nice at first to explore the new world and just do stupid seventeen-year-old things, but they missed the feeling of relaxing in a bed and just turning off for hours. 

But two months after the Orpheum, Luke couldn’t shake what happened to them that night. He couldn’t shake the fact that he, Alex, and Reggie were clinging onto each other on the studio floor, literally minutes away from being zapped out of existence. He couldn’t shake the pit in his stomach he had when the three of them helplessly laid there in the dark studio waiting to disappear. He couldn’t shake the look Julie had with the tears streaming down her face when she saw them being jolted. He couldn’t shake the ache in his heart after hearing Julie’s voice break, begging them to do something to save themselves-

Luke’s breath hitched as he stiffened where he laid on the pullout couch. An antsy feeling started to take over his body telling him to move so he lifted his head trying to find something else he could focus on. He observed the moonlight shining through the windows reflecting off of the piano and heard the sounds of cars speeding off in the distance. He looked to his left and took note of Reggie’s soft snores that had an inconsistent rhythm and felt Alex’s left leg thrown on top of his own. Luke also noticed how his heart was slowly starting to pound in his chest- He plopped his head back down and shut his eyes tight trying to steady himself. _You’re fine. You’re fine, you’re fine, you’re fine, you’re fine, you’re fine, you’re fi-_

“Alex! Alex, Alex-” Luke shot up and started to hit the boy to the right of him trying to wake him up, the lights flickering as he took in gasps of air. His friend wasn’t responding quickly enough so Luke crawled from between the heavy sleeper and a confused Reggie, scrambling to the edge of the pullout trying to catch his breath. He shoved his head in his hands with his elbows resting on his knees and clenched his jaw. 

The drummer complained as he slowly opened his eyes thanks to Reggie violently shaking him. “Alex, it’s happening again.”

“Reg, what do you wa-” he paused when he took in the unintended light show taking place paired with an unresponsive Luke at the top of the pullout. The two boys paused and shared a look of concern before Alex spoke. “Go get Julie.”

“Uhhh...I don’t think a magical hug is going to fix this.”

“He needs to talk about this.”

Reggie bit his cheek looking back to Luke who was in the same hunched position, and hesitantly poofed out of the studio.

Alex shuffled out of the covers and slowly sat next to Luke. He lowered his head hoping to get the guitarist to notice him. “Luke, I need you to look at me.”

Luke didn’t respond to Alex’s request, instead, he dug his heels into the ground and tensed when he heard a loud poof coming from the corner. He stood deadly silent as he tried to calm himself down, every now and then taking in large gulps of air while tightening his grip on his hair. He was interrupted after a couple of minutes when he felt Alex gently lay his hand on his lap, to which Luke grabbed in a death grip shifting his head onto his left hand. 

Alex grunted as he started to lose circulation to his fingers. “Ow, okay. Hey, I know it’s hard but you need to breathe.” He demonstrated by loudly inhaling and exhaling trying to get Luke to copy him. 

Luke made a sound that was almost a mix between a whimper and a laugh when he heard Alex’s instructions. What else has he been trying to do for the past couple of minutes? Luke squeezed his eyes tighter and attempted to do as Alex told him even though his body was immediately rejecting the air he was trying to suck in. After multiple failed attempts of him taking in shaky breaths just for them to get stuck in his throat, he desperately shook his head. “I ca-n’t.”

“Yes you can, you need to stop holding your breath. Okay? Let’s try again.” Alex took another breath in waiting for Luke to follow and realized that Reggie, who was standing with Julie in the corner, was following him as well.

Seeing Luke like this worried all of them; it wasn't often Luke would show his fear, but even at the times he did, it was different. Sure he’d be scared, but he’d let his anger shine through more making him have a better grip on his fear. Like the time someone made fun of Reggie in school and Luke got into a fight with someone twice his size, despite Reggie trying to pull him back (he lost horribly but he did give the kid a run for his money). Or when Caleb popped into the studio and forced them into his house band; there was worry in his eyes, but Luke was ready to punch Caleb in the throat the second he saw him. One of the only other times that the boys can remember Luke being this freaked out by something was the month when he ran away. Something was really bothering him.

It took a couple of minutes, but the lights started to stop flickering as he slowly got a hold of his breathing. His body relaxed making him realize how sore his hand was. Luke pried his fingers away from Alex's hand and fell back onto the pullout, using his arm to cover his eyes from the light.

“What time is it?” he croaked out.

Julie pulled out her phone. “It's going to be three.”

Luke sighed and pulled himself up despite the exhausted feeling he had telling him to lay back down. The rest of his friends watched him carefully as he looked ahead with a blank stare. “I’m going on a walk.”

Reggie crossed his arms, “Luke…”

He got out from the couch and started to walk around the studio. “What? I’m good-”

Alex cut him off, “Dude, you’re not good. You haven’t been able to sleep for the past two weeks.” He sighed as Luke continued to look for his flannel jacket trying to ignore him. “What’s going on?”

He turned to Alex and tried to look him in the eye, but ended up staring at the lamp behind him. “I just need some air.” He found his jacket lying behind the drumkit and began to slip it on.

“Then we can open up the studio doors, but I don’t think going to your parent’s house is the best idea right now.”

Luke stopped in his tracks and dropped his arms from fixing his jacket collar. “You guys don't need to worry about me.”

Reggie sat down on the pullout as quietly as he could. “Well, whatever it is, it seems to be really bothering you. Maybe it’ll help to get it out.”

Luke scoffed, “Oh, look who’s talking.”

“Luke.”

“Alex please, I- I don’t even know where to start.”

“...We have time,” Julie’s voice broke in as she made her way to the couch, leaving space for Luke.

He sighed and dug his hands into his pockets. It took a moment before he went against the urge to poof out of the studio and threw himself on the pullout. But it was even longer before Luke said anything as he ran through his thoughts, trying to pick out what to say. _Maybe if I fall asleep they’ll just drop it._

It’s not that Luke _tries_ to ignore his emotions; he knows what he’s feeling and doesn’t mind showing them. The problem is _talking_ about and _explaining_ his emotions. He would just rather let them out in his music, or deal with them on his own. With nobody else. And his friends are just trying to help, but Luke just hates how awkward it is to actually say what you're feeling out loud.

After five more minutes of the deafening silence taking over the studio, Luke rolled onto his back and spoke in a quiet voice, “It’s my fault. Everything.”

Julie looked to Alex and Reggie for an explanation but they were just as confused as she was. “Can you be more specific?” Julie gently asked.

He shut his eyes and let out a laugh. “Ummm, let’s see. Oh, our deaths, how can I forget about that one? Also how Caleb almost killed us a second time leaving you to go through more loss. So, yeah, I suck at protecting you guys. The only thing that I’m good at is putting everyone I love in danger I can’t even get them out of-”

“Luke,” Alex spoke in a caring but firm tone, “you know that we don’t blame you for those things right?”

He made a small unconvincing noise of agreement to answer Alex’s question but left it at that. His friends let him soak in the silence for a while, careful not to rush him. All three of them knew that even though he’s not a completely open book, he’ll get there if you give him time.

Luke's eyes were still closed but needed something to do with his hands. He reached for the pillow above his head and started to play with its tag focusing on pulling the frayed ends.

“I keep on thinking about the night we came home from the Orpheum,” Luke quietly blurted out. “About how much pain all of us were in all because I wanted to get back at Trevor. We almost died again and left Julie because of me.”

The three of them stood quiet, not knowing what to say right away. That night...was a crazy night for all of them. And all of them did try to go through the events of the Orpheum a week after it, but it was so much to figure out. Between Caleb forcing the boys to play with him, somehow the boys appearing on stage with Julie, Julie finding them alone in the dark studio, her somehow saving them, to the boys still trying to figure out what their unfinished business is...what on earth happened?

“That’s, not entirely on you,” Alex sighed. Luke stood silent at his remark.

Reggie fixed his position on the pullout to lay down on his side with his head resting in his hand. **“** What did you say to Alex when he said that the Caleb situation was his fault?”

“...I said that we all wanted to see him,” Luke reluctantly mumbled.

“See! Now you have two more hats in the ring with you!” Julie kicked his leg for sounding a bit too cheery. But Luke gave a small smirk to his comment so Reggie took it as a win.

“It’s not the same. When we walked into his stupid club you said you had a bad feeling about it from the start, and I’m pretty sure Alex just wanted to spend time with Willie.” Luke cracked his eyes open to see the drummer’s face turn red. 

“Did those two have a nice time?” Julie teased

“Oh yeah,” Luke chuckled, “those two have ‘magic’”.

Reggie quickly ducked his head and snorted at the comment. Julie made a confused expression prompting both boys to poorly reenact the scene they were referring to. 

“Shut up.” Alex took the pillow Luke was fidgeting with and whacked his stomach with it then reached over and swung it into Reggie’s head. “You lost a date with a girl because you attacked her for her music choices.”

Julie snickered, “Oh my gosh.”

“That was in seventh grade! Anyways Reggie has too many times to _count_ , ‘t-shirt size beautiful’”. 

“Oh come on, that was pretty good!”

“Reggie that sucks,” Julie giggled almost in disbelief. “You really said that to some poor girl?” 

“Yep, he did,” Luke answered for him. “Right before we died-” The room fell silent after the words slipped out of his mouth.

The boys don’t talk about their death that much. Who wants to go through the events of that? Sure, they talk about small things like the fact that freaking _hot dogs_ took them out, or like how bad they tasted anyways. But they don't bring up anything else. They don’t bring up the excruciating pain they felt in their sides as they dropped to the ground. They don’t bring up how the three of them clung to each other, refusing to be split into different ambulances. They don’t bring up the pits in their stomachs, knowing what was going to happen to them. They don’t bring up the sound of people’s concerned voices surrounding them, begging for someone to do something to save three seventeen-year-olds-

Julie took in a deep breath to get the boys to stop holding their own, looking around the room to study their faces. Luke squeezed his eyes tighter as if he was silently kicking himself. Alex’s eyes narrowed on his lap, looking lost in deep thought. And Reggie had an unreadable expression on his face, but it was clear that his body was itching to bolt. _Jeez, maybe we all need to see Dr. Turner._

“It’s not your fault Luke,” Reggie broke the silence with a small voice.

Luke forced himself up and sighed. He scooted to the top of the pullout and slouched against the backboard, propping his elbow on his knee so he could rest his head in his hand. With his eyes closed, he didn’t notice the lights slowly turning on and off until he snapped them open when Julie placed her hand on his foot.

Alex got up from the couch and started to stroll back and forth. “It’s not like you planned our deaths or anything.”

“It doesn’t matter.” 

“Luke, yes it does.”

“We still died.”

Alex sighed, “Luke, please get it through your head that it wasn’t your fault.”

“It was my stupid suggestion.”

“Luke.”

He dropped his arm from his knee. “Saying my name over and over doesn’t do anything.”

"But it _wasn't_ your fault."

Luke huffed at Alex's full-proof argument.

“...What about me?” Reggie pushed out. 

“What about you?”

Reggie slightly shrugged his shoulders. “I brushed off Alex’s comment about the weird taste of the hot dog. I’m the reason we died.”

“That’s ridiculous. You didn’t know that would happen.” Luke ignored how Reggie’s eyebrow quirked at his comment. 

After a moment, Julie spoke up. “What about me?” 

Confusion spread on Luke’s face. “You weren’t there.”

“I know that. But let’s say that if I were there and you guys still died because I didn’t stop you from eating the hot dogs. I would be the reason you died.”

Luke didn’t respond to Julie as he shifted where he sat. He noticed that Alex stopped his pacing, looking like he wanted to say something. _Oh, this should be good._

“I’m the reason why Caleb almost killed us the second time.”

“No you're not,” Luke was starting to burn a hole into the ground, refusing to look at his friends. 

“But I met Willie and he introduced us to him.”

“I know what you’re doing. And I repeated it earlier anyway.”

“I wasn’t listening," Alex replied. "I’m the _only_ reason why we almost got jolted out of existence and left Julie.”

“That’s not true.” Luke glared at Alex.

“Tell me why.” Alex locked eyes with Luke, almost as a challenge. 

“I don’t want to,” he responded dryly. 

Alex clapped his hands together and turned his direction towards Reggie and Julie. “ Well, that settles it. I’m the _sole_ reason for Caleb almost killing us, causing Julie to go through more loss, even though there were two other idiots with me and none of us knew what was going to happen.”

Alex plopped himself next to Luke with his eyebrows raised.

“You know how much I hate you sometimes?”

“You let me know every now and then.”

Luke let his head hang off of the backboard of the couch and let out a dramatic groan. “I get it,” he quietly mumbled.

“Get what?” Julie questioned.

“You know what I mean.”

“We don’t, we need to hear it out loud,” Alex requested.

“I’m not five years old.”

“That’s debatable,” Julie smirked.

Luke continued to stare at the ceiling but remained silent. Every now and then, he would open and close his mouth to start a sentence, but nothing would come out. His friends didn't dare to move or say anything knowing if they did, they would prolong the little contest Luke was having with himself to see how long he could be quiet for.

After a couple of minutes, Luke begrudgingly started to talk as if he was forcing the words to come out against his own will. “Wha-... what happened to us...is not, _entirely_...my, fault.” He felt his face get hot immediately as he finished, making him want to implode into himself.

“And just for the record,” Julie gently nudged his knee, ”you do just a fine job protecting us. But you need to start looking after yourself.”

“We want to protect you too,” Reggie added.

Luke slowly pulled his head back up, looking at his lap where he was playing with the seam of his shirt. “Thanks.”

Alex patted Luke’s leg, “How do you feel?”

“The same, I guess.”

“Well, that’s okay.” Alex gave a small smile.

Luke sighed and started to fix himself on the pullout, “I just want to go to sleep right now.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty late,” Julie yawned. “You guys could sleep in my room if you want.”

The boys looked at each other seeming to agree to her offer.

“Cool,” Reggie snapped his fingers. “See you up there.”

“What? Can you guys just poof me to my room? Reggie, you poofed me here earlier.”

“Yeah, but it’s more fun if it’s a race," Alex quipped. 

“It’s not a race if I’m the only one using my legs.”

“Better get moving Molina,” Luke softly teased.

Before Julie could protest the three of them blinked out from the room. “Unbelievable,” she giggled to herself. With that, she closed up the pullout, turned off the lights, and let out a sigh as she closed the studio doors.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!


End file.
